i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
