why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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