So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
