Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
