I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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