Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
