Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
