the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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