apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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