umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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