Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
