Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
