this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
