Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
