I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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