there's paper in my vomit.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
