some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
