this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
