I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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