No stitches, just platelets and will power
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
