Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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