i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
