That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
that may or may not have been my penis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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