They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
my poor anus
Randomize
