He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
