whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
