i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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