I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
