I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
its liver damage thursday
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
