This is not my ceiling
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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