I've blown a few things in my day
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Come see our sink grown plant.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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