So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
