So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
