So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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