love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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