I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
