This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
