Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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