That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
