her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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