Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
