Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
