i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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