Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
