my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
