Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
