so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
