Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
