Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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