have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
