the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
